Thursday, December 10, 2009

LML and a palate cleanser

OK, so Launch My Line is a fascinating train wreck. I won't even talk about clothes -- there was nothing on the runway last night that I really liked. The blue kimono and the orange dress were ok; the wool one-piece bathing suit ("but you can't go swimming in it", according to the creator) was probably the main atrocity committed. Rest easy though -- the architect responsible for it was sent home.

Thankfully, the rest of the show compensates for lack of interesting fashion. Patrick the fashion writer's outfits are more interesting that runway, that's for sure. By gum, that man has style and flair! It remains to be seen how that'll translate into designing women's fashion, especially since his expert is a tad mercurial, to put it mildly.

The experts (aka the actual designers, not "designers" who are trying to launch their line despite their inability to sew on a button) are starting to get testy about the "designers", who carry on about creative process and treat their experts like seamstresses. The experts roll their eyes and point out that this is not a sleeve, this is a neckline. One expert complains that her designer knows nothing about fabrics and how they work. For me, this seemed like the main challenge from the beginning: I sew very little, just enough to realize that I don't know enough about construction to be able to translate a flight of fancy into an actual garment.

Another precious moment from last night: the music mogul who feels that he has an edge in the fashion world because, and I almost quote, he knows what men find attractive. Because all these million dollar runways twice a year? All an attempt to lure straight men, fashion's raison d'etre. Dear music person: you seem like a nice enough guy, but if fashion was about straight men preferences, there would be nothing but short skirts and tight jeans on the runway. Couture labels would cease to exist. Alexander McQueen doesn't do alien shoes because he can't quite grasp what it is the straight guys WANT. Comme des Garcons... well, you get my drift. Believe it or not, women might occasionally get up in the morning and dress to please themselves rather than encourage maximum leering on the subway. Just FYI.

And I leave you with Simon Doonan providing more wit and entertainment in just over two minutes than the entire season of any fashion show:

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